How to support a pregnant person in labor and during the postpartum period
First things first, a doula is a great resource for people who want help coping with the pains of labor, especially first time parents who don’t know what to expect.
Doulas are trained on how to be a support person for people who are laboring. After the baby is born a doula can come in and help empower you in taking care of your new baby. They can assist with teaching things you may be unfamiliar with such as breastfeeding.
If you are not in the position to be able to find or afford a doula, the first step is to sit down and talk about what the birthing person would like for their birth to look like.
Not that it has to be a set in stone plan, but just simply what they would like to happen. This helps both people get an idea of what the environment will look like once it’s go time. Creating a birth plan is a great tool so all professionals involved delivering the baby know what to expect especially when labor is painful and the birthing person doesn’t want to have the explain what they want to happen.
While they are in labor, try not to bombard them with questions about what to do next. A large part of helping is watching them and following their cues.
Every now and then it’s okay to ask if they want some water, but don’t ask them what they would like for you to do next every few minutes.
Find out what your role will be once the baby is born.
People often underestimate how rough the newborn stage can be. Talk about what responsibilities and chores should be assigned to each person. In a lot of cases, the birthing person just wants to focus on the baby, so as the support person it is of monumental help if you take care of the household chores. Something as simple as making sure they have eaten and maybe even had a few minutes to themselves everyday. Also, talk about the boundaries associated with who comes to visit baby and what their role will be. Once the baby shows up you may decide that you don’t want any visitors, make sure you are both on the same page and discuss what to do for how you will establish boundaries for yourselves and the new baby.
Educate yourself on the differences between the baby blues and postpartum depression.
Many people who just had a baby are afraid to share their emotions because they don’t want people thinking poorly of them. Make sure you check on them periodically and watch for the signs of PPD.
