What I Wish I Knew About Birth And Postpartum As A First Time Mom
If you’re reading this and you’re anything like me, you probably are a pregnant person, wondering how bad birth is going to hurt. I remember searching “how bad do contractions hurt” because I was so nervous about what birth would feel like. I’ll let you in on a secret... you won’t know until you start having them. Everyone I had talked to told me to expect them to feel like bad period cramps but what I felt was nothing like a period cramp. I experienced intense back labor and had no idea it was even a thing. I felt sharp pains in my pelvis, butt, and lower back. It was unlike any pain I had ever experienced. I kept thinking “this is not what they told me it would be like on Google!” So put down the phone, stop searching how much pain you’re going to experience and just wait until the first one hits you. Think of it like this, the baby has to come out regardless, so just remember that your body was made for it and before you know it, your bundle will be arriving into the world.
That first poop after childbirth is hard. Literally. I had always heard that the first postpartum poop was rough but didn’t imagine it would suck quite as bad as it did. My recommendation, take the stool softeners they give you until you need none. They are lovely and I 10/10 recommend.
It’s normal to be frustrated with your new baby. As a new parent, you are likely not getting much sleep or much time to yourself for that matter. It’s normal to be frustrated that the baby is crying and not know why. If you find yourself overly frustrated, take a step away. The baby will be okay for a few minutes while you gather yourself. Even better, if you have someone to watch the baby for a few minutes, do some self care. Go take a shower that’s longer than 5 minutes or eat your favorite snack in peace.
Babies can put a lot of stress on your relationship. Because both parents are probably sleep deprived, this will lead to irritation on both sides and you may find yourself arguing over little things. Try to remember that this is only for a season and not a lifetime. The bickering that happens because your husband or wife left the jar off the mayonnaise is not the end of the world and I promise you’re not the first person to argue about small things.
My favorite.. you don’t have to take everyone’s advice. As a first time mom, you’re gonna have many family members and friends give unsolicited advice. Don’t feel obligated to do things that your parents or grandparents did just because “they did it and you turned out alright.” All things baby related have evolved and there are plenty of studies out there that challenge a lot of older customs and traditions. With that being said, if you want to take the advice, that’s okay too. If you don’t want to put rice cereal in your babies milk at 1 month old, even though your grandma said to, don’t do it. Stand firm in the role that although you are a new parent, you have done research and feel you are doing what’s best for your child.
